Craig - the splitting of the Parkinson Clan will be something to behold! I think I'll try and cancel Aintree (not to play but to watch!).
Advice: wear a non-sporty, off colour top; shout at other players when you are at fault (with lots of irrelevant pointing/gesturing); never pass to feet when there is a long ball opportunity (does not have to be to anyone, just a long ball); try to stop Richard from playing right back; etc.......