Afternoon Gentlemen How is everyone today? Unfortunately I've only managed to sell 4 tickets for saturday. But I'm sure its going to be a good evening anyway!

Does anybody know where I can get a decent bathroom suite from? I've been to B&Q and a place in Heywood but they've all been a bit crap really! Anyway here's a funny joke I was sent the other day


A teacher asks her class to use the word "contagious" in a sentence.

Roland, the class swot, jumps up and says,

"Last year I got the measles and mum said it was very contagious."

Then Katie, a sweet little girl with pigtails, jumps up and says,

"My Grandma says there's a flu going around and its contagious."

Finally, Little Jimmy jumps up and shouts,

"Our next door neighbours painting the outside of his house with a 2 inch brush and my dad says it will take the contagious."