"steam/shower/bath/jacuzzi/home entertainment centre"

The mind boggles! Is it legal to advertise such things, especially with the Vice prowling? ;-)

Back on knitwear, why not go instead for "Nancy's simple wimple (part of the 1997 knitlist gift exchange)" - if you mention my name to Nancy she'll give you an extra yard of material, all for free. Mind you, I bet the CDO has given an extra yard in his time!