Friday, July 30

Just in case anyone's wondering, I am playing tomorrow but not at the start, hence Nelly's captaining!

Thursday, July 29

A bit later than normal but here are the teams for the most important weekend of the season especially for the 1sts.
1sts v Rochdale Cath Club (away). Meet Robin Hood at 12.30pm. Nellie B (capt), C Brooks, R Brooks, M Cotton, M Deegan, P Duckworth, N Hudson, C Parkinson, P Skundic, R Peacock & P Meehan.
2nds v Westleigh Meths at Home. Meet ground at 1pm. S Moriarty, R Holt, D Moriarty, M Jones, S Horner, R Ablett, N Fletcher, G Fletcher, A Smith, P Yates & A N Other.

Good luck men !!

Wednesday, July 28

Good point daddy nick!  But i think he's fail to say that he's been s**ging Talula his blow up friend!
just want to know what jedi is shagging. lets face anyone who saw the jacket he was wearing at chew moor brook and those boxing boot things must also wonder which team he is batting for if you pardon the pun!
As you know, a couple of weeks back we decided to install a feature which lets us track who is using the site. I've just had a quick look at the logs and have unearthed a few things.

So who is a typical TSJ website visitor?

Well, first off, we've had an astonishing 550 DIFFERENT people access us in 2 weeks. For  a small site devoted to a cricket club of 30 members, that's pretty amazing. Please, please, please sign our guestbook and let us know who you are. When we get Mike's newsletters online, we can only see usage increasing!

99% of our users are on Windows computers, with just 3 people using Linux (the fools). 61% of our users have a screen resolution of 800x600, which is fairly small - clearly the technological age is yet to catch on with some! 98% of people use Internet explorer (v5 or v6), with a measly 2% using Netscape! Microsoft is clearly continuing to rule the world ...

One of the most intriguing things is how users find us!

Yesterday someone did a google search for Most haunted Pontefract and we came out at number 1 (try it if you don't believe it). It's for an old reference to Osama going on that TV show! Other searches that people have used to find us include: Keith Lees NOT plumber (hilarious!!), Nancy Dell'Olio naked (?!) , an Australian search for, wait for it, song im blue lardey de lardey die, free wimple knitting pattern, lads mooning gallery, and my personal fave crap cricketer picture!!!

Tuesday, July 27

Greenmount are playing Westhoughton on Sunday at Bradshaw in the Hamer Cup Final. Should be quite good if the weather is anything like. Just been invited down by Derek and Bobby. By the way, Bobby sends his regards to all the lads. He will probably be umpiring the match on Bank Holiday Monday.
Thanks for pointing that out paul i feel quite ill now!

There's an undoubted aura of professionalism sweeping the club this year - just check out Matty Ablett's guestbook message, which we're printing and posting to his dad as we speak ... (just kidding, Jedi! Enjoy Magaluf)

Monday, July 26

Availability for next weekend:

at the moment, the situation for Saturday is that myself, Dickie P, Chadders, Kieran and Mike A are all definitely not available. Ashley is a TBC (by tomorrow). Craig, Big Bird and Osama are all back and available. Does anyone else know of any potential missing players??
Well done everybody!! Thats fantastic! Really looking forward to next week now bring on the Catholic Club!  Me and shafter will rip em apart! COME ON!!!
Many congratulations Steve and the boys on a terrific result - another great weekend for the club!

Well done to all my boys on Saturday, firstly for battling to a decent total of 180-8, then for keeping cool when it could have got out of hand, and for bringing it home with some disciplined bowling (especially Flash) at the death. Good stuff. 9 wins in a row now!

Sunday, July 25

Congratulations to the 2nds who have won through to the Hunter Cup Final on a bowl out.
The score was 4 - 2, well done to Skunners, Craig, Mike and Rob who all hit the target.

Friday, July 23

Well as I type this Rob Key is on 213 not out and England are on about 470-2. Any bets on what they're going to end up with? My guess is ... 671-6 or about 900 if Flintoff gets going ;-)

[update 1pm - well, that put the mockers on them, Key out shortly after, Thorpe not lasting long and Flintoff dragging his 4th ball onto his stumps after hitting his third ball for 6! 535-5 at lunch, still Jones to come in though and Vaughan's on 90 ...]

Good luck to both teams for the weekend! 

Thursday, July 22


game on Sat v's Robinsons not Dalians
1st XI v Robinsons*, home, (sat), meet ground 1pm

Paul (c), Cliff, Dickie P, ShagNasty, Dasher, Nelly, Flash, SurfBoy, MickyJ, Garvey Hudson, Ducky

*Bird, I knew that really ;-)

Wednesday, July 21

Accommodation Update:

I've booked 4 Twin Rooms
unfortunately the rate now I've spoke to the Manager is £35 per person. However there is on street parking and its 10 mins walk into town. Travel lodge and Premier Lodge all booked up.
If I need to cancel the room for the unconfirmed I will need to know ASAP.



Tuesday, July 20

Weekend 1st team selection. At the moment the following are definitely unavailable: CDO, Bird, Osama and Ex-Vice.
Can anyone confirm the availability of the following: Digger, Nick Hudson, Chadders and Ashley? Cheers ...

Monday, July 19

Excellent news re: Stag!  Good work rich I owe you a few pints.. 
Booked my honeymoon yesterday, were officially going to South Africa.  I've booked 3 nights in Cape town then were going to drive round the "Garden Route" and the "Winelands" areas looks fantastic. 
The Funny thing is were going all that way and were staying at a Holiday Inn!!  Its on the waterfront though
Hello, disappointing day for team 2 yesterday. What went wrong?
With regard to Mats Stag do on Sat 18th Sept the follow people have said they want to go
Nelly Butt 90%
Digger To Confirm
Scunners 90%
N Hudson (On Hols to be asked)
Chris (Matts mate with pregnant wife) going Sat only. Spoke to him today.
I have sort out some possible accommodation(used by an office colleague). Clean with bar. Price £50 per Room, £25 pp sharing B&B.
There are not many rooms available so I propose to book 4 Twin rooms sometime this week. I may need deposits.
I will confirm later.

Hello world! Would like to say a big hi to all those non-TSJers clearly reading the site! Since Friday morning there have been *127* unique users of the site, and even allowing for the regulars to view the site both at work and home, that indicates there are perhaps 70-80 people from outside the club viewing us.
Please post in our guestbook and say hi!
A disappointing weekend with the rain affecting all games except for 'dalians, who picked up 5 points to go joint 2nd with us. We have some massive games coming up, and it's holiday season; next week we face Robbies with another depleted line up (we played them with 9 last time, plus Andy who hadn't played in 15 years). Time for people to step up and contribute!
Fantastic new edition of the newsletter from Mike!

Friday, July 16

You're for it now CDO, there'll be lawyers and everything.
Typical bloody rugby player!

"The sun has got his hat on, hip hip hip hooray!   The dog is in the boot and Leesy's out to play!"
Exchange from last night's committee meeting (abridged)
(general discussion about trying a new type of match ball)
Osama: I like these balls we're using, they swing
Cliff: We'll try the new ones, you'll be able to bowl straight
Osama: I like them
Doc: Do they make you bowl short and wide too?
Don't think anyone managed a sensible contribution thereafter!
Good luck for the weekend fellas. I know it's going to be difficult when your missing a class bowler like myself but you've got to try and get through it! 
Lets keep this run going!!  COME ON
Morning all,
Last night I was asked if we can put a counter or some monitoring stats on the site so we know who is visiting us. This has now been done and I will be periodically informing you of the figures!
sorry - that should have read' severely'.
The 'c' is next to 'v'.......
Committee - don't worry. I'll be taking the p**s out of myself secerely in the next issue over my appalling attempts this year at the tricky art of 'catching the ball'.    laters
does this mean that you'll be clipping the ball through mid wicket; cutting it behind point; changing  (split) ends; something for the weekend?   Ooo, suits you Russ!

Thursday, July 15

Reminder to all committee members that there's a meeting tonight at the Dungeon, 8pm. Matters on the agenda will include how to get our own back on Mr Ainscoe, the recklessness in giving Osama all our cash when he has an upcoming stag do, a discussion on when young Jedi will turn to the dark side (it'll probably be evident when we catch him in the throes of heavy breathing), a measurement of just how far Craig Ralph hit Scunners last ball on Saturday, and the quality of Big Bird's rallying call below.
Damn - you've sussed me out at long last.

Anyway I'm up for giving Leesy and Co a short back and sides on Saturday!!
thats 2 from 2 - bet you're glad we're not in Div one for a full house - I think they must bottle it against Yorkshire because they do have a better side on paper....
20 overs a side rubbish - you'd never catch us playing that!

Just stumbled across a fantastic piece of gossip, and now I can reveal what Big Bird does on the side to make some dosh ... typical Bird sense of humour, look what street his shop's on!

Big Bird moonlighting ...
How come yorkshire have managed to get Ian Harvey from Glos.? Fantastic 108n/o from 59 deliveries -putting freddy's flames out!
Good Work Yorkshire!
Unfortunately I think the weather is going to ruin my chance to see the beaten team tonight.

Wednesday, July 14

Chaps - will be going straight to Darcy Lever for tha match aginst Darcy Lever on Sunday. Is that Woodbank then?
After CDO's little problem the other week, I think we might all assume that sweaty sock bashing is the only thing going on in the CDO household ;-)

rhyming slang for Jocks
It is that weekend but i'm not understanding the "sweaty sock bashing" but if you want to carry on the viking scenario then thats fine!
Cotters - your stag is the week after Viking raids into Bury - does this mean we can keep our axes, horns, etc for 'Sweaty-sock' bashing?
1sts v Springhead (A), Saturday, meet Robin 12.30pm

Doc (c), CDO, Ex-Vice, Cliff, Big Bird, Shagnasty, Rob H, Beach Bum, Dickie P, Dasher, Nelly Butt

2nds v Darcy Lever (A), Sunday, meet Robin 12.45pm

Mike J (c), Mike A, Rob H, Ducky, Daddy Nick "laters" F, Graham F, Rowdy, Frankie B, Smithy, Steve "Postman" Horner, Matt Jedi
team selections?

Tuesday, July 13

Ah I can already sense the delights awaiting us in the next newsletter! Osama, have a good break and come back fighting fit for Catholic Club, when you'll be spearheading the attack in my absence. Must apologise re unavailability fro stag do, as we're heaidng in opposite direction for Ollie's first holiday - to Stratford. Got to show him some culture ;-)

Generally good results at weekend - Robbies lost and Rochdalians didn't play, so let's make sure of a good result next week and we're looking good for a top 3 finish, hopefully 2nd and maybe, just maybe ...
don't start being nice now - I do read the bloody thing before I print it!
Cotters - unavailability was you, N.Hudson, Ash only?
By my reckoning Kieran, the 'keys' episode alone should earn you a weekend of debauchery in a location of your choice.
Just a reminder Re: Selection I'm not available for the next 2 weekends.
colluding with the enemy Mike means you are as guilty as if you took it with your own hands.
Actually it will probably be good news as I can play it up a bit and therefore gain enough points for Edinburgh (and there was the keys....)
I would like to publicly thank DENISE COE for her photographic contribution to this months newsletter.
Yes, Mike, thanks for the newsletter - 16pg - it will be available this weekend - can you please return the photograph you stole from my house - thank you....

Monday, July 12

Too right Dickie P. Pity the only thing we/I didn't get a grip of was that damn tricky catch. I'll just have to take the p**s out of myself in the newsletter, as I will you too for trying to lose yet another sweater. Talking of which, I've just dropped the latest newsletter off at Kierans as we're both on hols soon, so hopefully it should be in circulation by the weekend. Laters.
There was some confusion on Sat re our next few fixtures.

After Springhead away on Sat, the following week 24th we play Robinsons, followed by Catholic Club on 31st.

I am unavailable on 24th, but available on 31st ie available for the BIGGY.

Well done to the 2's yesterday - its becoming a habit for the club!

One Club, One Vision.
Very spirited fightback by the 2nds yesterday to take a grip on the game.

WRT Matts Stag do in Edinburgh Scott and I intend to go up Sat morning and meet up early evening with the rest of his party, before larging it. I suggest anybody else who can make it lets me know so that I can book some cheap and cheerful accommodation for the night.
Another great weekend for the club!

As you are aware i'm getting married in October and I'm arranging my stag doo at the moment. I have booked the weekend 17/18 September 04 and were going to sunny Edinburgh.

I've spoke to richard & scott about it and they are coming up to Edinburgh on the saturday night for a few light ales. So if anyone is interested you're all more then welcome to come up and celebrate the event.


Tree beard
good win for 2nds - another low score win at Elton!

Friday, July 9

Stick cricket spoof
Good look tomorrow Folks! I hope to escape to the ground for an hour or so with James and more importantly I am working on a pass for the Pub.
He's not!!!!
You do know Scunners is opening the bowling don't you? ;-)
Im seriously going to kick some ass tomorrow! Cheers paul thats made my day! Where do you get these things from!!
TeamTalk is delighted to announce that the "Campcorder" [(c) Mike Ainscoe] was on hand to capture the moment Osama's windows got done ...

Gunning for Osama
channel your aggression brackers! West Leigh are well known for their primative pebble-dashing antics - IT WAS THEM!
Its always been rubbish!

Some little f@@ker smashed my bathroom window last night! I've only had my new windows in for a month. I reckon it was a gat gun or something like that because the hole is tiny and a stone would do that kind of damage.

used to be a good song, before Glitter's demise.....
This is your captain speaking ...



Thursday, July 8

Please accept my apologies at not being able to attend next Thursdays meeting. Although a Yorkshire man I intend to go to the Lancs 20:20 match at Old Trafford.

Wednesday, July 7

2nd XI team for Sun V Elton Vale (A). Meet direct at EV 1.15pm. S Moriarty (C), M Ablett, M Ainscoe, G Fletcher, N Fletcher, R Holt, S Hunter, M Jones, D Moriarty, R Peacock, A Smith. Res : P Duckworth & F Brockway

Also for those Committee Members who read - next meeting Thursday 15th July at Old Dungeon Inn for 8pm.
Further to failsworth, how the hell did they manage to provide and afford the 30 balls they lost, Osama would have a fit if it was us,and what sort of condition must the last few balls have been in.
1st XI Selection for weekend v West Leigh (H) - meet ground 1pm

Paul(c), Cliff, Bird, Chadders, Cotters, Dasher, Former Vice, CDO, Scunners, The Hud and Nelly B. 12th Man: Dickie P

Tuesday, July 6

Also thought you might want to know that in the Karmad 350ish they hit 32 4's and 34 6's . They also lost 30 balls, I wonder how many windows were smashed. Serves them right for beating us !!

Monday, July 5

Thought you'd like to know Failsworth got stuffed in Lancs shield, Failsworth were apparently 50 odd all out chasing about 350 against Karmad from bolton metro league.
hi boys good win at the weekend, I'm back this week i'll be availible for selection for either day over the weekend ( or both if desperate) Speak to you guys later on in the week, have a good one.

It's nice to see us back where we belong in the top couple of places, but just think how it would look if we'd been competent week 1 (to take nowt away from WL, who simply outplayed us) or the rains hadn't come against Springhead ...

Always great to see Dickie P on form!
Glad to hear that the forms still there richard!

I keep looking at the League table and then looking at it again to see if its right! I think i've been on the nmcl web site at least 5 times today! 2nd Lads how good is that!!

Fantastic thanks CDO. However I can safely say that it rained as opposed to drizzled on several occasions.
so if we have same last 6 run in.......
While next Saturday is an important game against Westleigh in the context of continuing our great run and also getting revenge for the opening day howler, let's also put the season in context. A win next Saturday and we surpass last season's win total and points!
welcome back Dicky P - how were the inner Hebrides? Did the drizzle break the surface tension?
Can anyone ever remember us declaring before? A fantastic effort on Saturday with the bat, in poor conditions on a dreadfully slow wicket. Another fine knock from Bird, and good to see Scunners get a few at the end too. We stuck at it well with bat and ball despite some hiccups in the middle - last 7 wickets for 12!

Moment of the season so far - Beach Bum showing his, well, beach bum, taking a spectacular diving catch!

Summary: TSJ 218-5 (Paul 71, Bird 51), Ashton 105 (Paul 5-14)

Up to 2nd boys!!!
unlucky lads in 2nd team - a cracking game with 400 runs scored - only 8 runs short at the end!
Morning Folks,
I'm back and available for club selection one day this weekend. My form on the beach was quite good!
Glad to hear things have gone well!
Unfortunately Kaye is out tomorrow night and so I can not make practice.

Friday, July 2

what about a cartoon strip based on the "shadow" becoming a feature of the newsletter ?
Hey, fantastic. There's a street called "The Ladysmith" presumably about where the ground is ...

Route planner map
Map of Ashton's ground
How would we know if he is out anyway? Isn't he the "shadow", famed for his silent newsletter distribution?

Clive lurking!
I'd be more worried if clive was out more!!
I do worry about clive. He should get out more!
Cliff, I'm confused. There's no "d" on the end of "banker" and it's not even a rude word! ;-)

More things to promote "freaky Friday".

Woman gives birth to frog
We need this chap down at the Meadows!
You're a sad b#stard....

Thursday, July 1

Call me a sad ba***rd but but just been genning up on directions for Sat. Seems dead simple according to handbook. For those who cannot find their book (Chadders). Follow M60 south to Ashton U Lyne Jnt23, turn left towards A-U-L & follow A635 to 2nd roundabout. Take 6194 to jnt of A670, turn right & follow for about 1 mile to Rose Hill Rd. On left past Stamford School and ground is then on right.
As Brucie would say 'That's all there is to it!'
Indeed chadders!
G'day Cobbers.. I too am chomping at the proverbial. It has been too long since i stood on the boundary admiring the all-conquering Totty. My kit has been washed three times since the last game (keep forgetting it's already been done!) Meet at their ground at 2.10 as per usual yes?
Good shout CDO! Not played for 2 weeks so lets ave it big style! I'm still dreaming of the HUGE six i hit at nets and also smacking Paul " i've got 15 wickets cotters" Skundric all over the park!

Ave it!!!!!!
Not been said for a bit: COME ON! or as the Vikings say, ODIN! THOR, GOD OF THUNDER! The time for raping and pillaging is nearly upon us once more......