Friday, October 31

Pretty scary thought though !
Craig - I would never have believed the mask!
CDO, If clive had knocked on your door you'd have thought he was some local hooligan trick or treating!!!!Agree re your comments about springhead, don't want to give the cup up, COME ON !!!!
I go away for i week and look what happens - glam-rock! - Could be a good theme for next seasons last match!? Springhead in the Cup....we REALLY need to rape them - start availability for the game NOW!
Clive - was it you posting minutes thro letterbox last night? Why not call in? You probably like the dark, cold evenings to do your stalking round Totty....

Thursday, October 30

paul, if no one has taken up your offer i'll have the ticket for a lift and a tenner. what do you say.
see you at footy hopefully.

They've had 2 massive hits in the UK, including one that was in the charts for months - "Bring Me to Life". As Matt says, they're a rock group - more melodic than heavy though, and Andy and I can't wait. Think you should come with us ;-)

I'll play you a track or two tonight before squash.

There some kind of Goth rock outfit from America and they wouldn't go down to well at chicagos!! Unfortunetly most haunted's on sky
Who are Enanescene? do they play it in Chicagos? and what is Living TV? I presume it is not on poor mans TV.
Rocktastic Dr P!

Just to remind you all i'm going to be on tele tomorrow night on Most Haunted Live!!! So tune into Living TV at 9 o'clock to watch the hunt for paranormal activity!!!

Morning all.

OK, I know it's short notice but I have a spare concert ticket.

Does anyone want to coe and see Evanescence at the Manchester Apollo tomorrow night. Concert starts 7pm (ish), and I'm happy to provide transport etc if required. The ticket is 18.50 but I'll accept sensible offers!

If you and a partner would both like to come I'll give up my ticket. The spare is Helen's but she's not well enough to go.

If you're interested, drop me an email to

Wednesday, October 29

Alright then I will break the silence with some interesting news -
Cup draws for 2004

Calverley Cup - 1st rnd - Springhead at home & 2nd rnd - Rochdale Catholic Club at home - Come on !!

Hunter Cup - 1st rnd - Bye & 2nd rnd - Darcy Lever at home

Monday, October 27

Well there's some quite unbelievable news courtesy of Cliff - and it's all true!

On Sunday Nov 2nd, the Comedy Store in Manchester is hosting a comedian of the year event, and competing is none other than young Danny Deggan, son of our very own icon, Dasher! Yes indeed. You can only imagine just how much material the youngster will have to work with! ;-)

Friday, October 24

You're a strange man CDO!!!
"You are the frisky whites, you are the frisky whites; we are the other team, we are the other team". I love it when it gets "Dirrrty!".
Can't believe I'm quoting from shit-pop.

Thursday, October 23

clive, what time does it start tomorrow? and how am i gonna get hold of my ticket?
Can't wait for footy tonight! yee hah!

No-one out there!?

Tuesday, October 21

Meccano monthly
Yes indeed ...

Accepting - Held up towards rear, ridden over 3f out, soon weakened - finished 8th out of 10 starters! Very poor!

On the positive side, can I once again echo some of the comments I made in my speech and say thanks - and congrats - to the following:

1. Cliff and Graham F for their immense contribution to off-pitch activities this year, particularly the building and other works in and around the pavilion, and the sightscreen kit, which has to be the most ridiculous contraption ever - but it works!!

2. The other committee members, particularly Scoop for his work with the lawyers, CDO for his tireless energy and suggestions, and Bird, Dickie P, et al for their other work.

3. Osama Bin Lardy for his well-deserved Outstanding Achievement Award. It's very difficult to say much more, but the lad seemed genuinely thrilled, and it was also particularly easy to take the pee out of his 26 runs for the season. Lovely.

4. Graham (again) for winning Club Man of the year. Well done and very well deserved.

5. The average winners (Nick F, Nick H, me and, er, me!) tee hee
I see Dickie P's tipping ability is of its usual standard, I believe that his tip for the 4:15 at pontefract yesterday is at this moment on its way to pedigree chum :-(

Monday, October 20

Excellent night on saturday, one of the highlights was Dickie P throwing his toys out of the pram and his dice further than he's ever thrown a cricket ball when he and clive were the dice throwers in the second race, and then Flash demanding a stewards enquiry when our horse subsequently lost.
Sorry Paul!
May I suggest the horse 'Accepting' in the 4.15 at Pontefract
It was a super night, have to agree! Dickie P - how much did you cost us!? ;-) The advance word from Cliff is that the club could well have made over a grand from the proceedings, which is a magnificent testament to all those who attended.

Two items of importance!

1. Football is ON this week! Usual place, usual time.

2. NMCL Presentation evening is this Friday, October 24th! We've accepted 12 tickets but only sold 5 so far - myself, Cliff, Cotters, CDO and Dickie P will be in attendance but we really need to have more representatives there - we are receiving two trophies after all!! Tickets are £12.50 - please contact Cliff or leave a message here if you want one!
Once again another tremendous evening and thanks again for the award chuffed to bits!! It was an expensive night though our table spent £150 quid!!! and didn't win anything back!!

Friday, October 17

Doc, the emphasis in the sentence should be on the word YOU....
You stopped me putting Vice in the clear - that was a good block! And from what I hear, it would have had to be an extremely accurate shot to do you any damage, haha!
never mind the kick on the ankle - what about the ball in the 'nads? (PS You know you're their uncle). Matt - I do like it hard - is there any other way?
Does that mean you like it Hard CDO?
Thought we did very well last night considering the low turnout. Really really enjoyed it. Must apologise to the CDO for a kick on the ankle - mind you I've got about 5 bruises on the shins from Jedi, so all's fair in love, war and Thursday night footy!

Ashley's not going to be pleased you called him Uncle Donald!
Nic - the going will be SOFT (like all you Lancastrian woofters!).
Tremendous effort by the whites last night - I can't decide whether Huey, Dewey, Louie and Uncle Donald played better with or without Goofy......

Thursday, October 16

Horses into the paddock at 7.30pm. First horses to be saddled by 7.30pm. Going looks to be good to firm in fact the course may need watering before Saturday.
First 3 races before the refreshments with then the trophies, speeches and game of heads & tails.
Finale to be last 3 races culminating with the today express Grand National.

See you there for a great night - a few tickets still available !!

All horses have been sold.
does anyone know what the running is going to be on saturday?
Anyone fancy a game of 11 v 1 tonight? ;-)

In related news, there's been another suspected attack by footballers on the general public. In a statement issued today, Inspector Deegan stated that "Police are currently looking for Leeds".
I appologise in advance

Another scandal is set to rock football!!!!

Sophie Ellis Bextor's dead body has been found in a French international footballer's hotel room.

The police are treating it as murder on Zidane's floor....


Wednesday, October 15

I dunno?
why? juliet - what you gonna do about it?
Lets just hope were on opposite teams tomorrow!!
watch it, viking warrior.....
I've supped a yard....
OH MY GOD!!!!! You asked a simple question!!

Tuesday, October 14

"steam/shower/bath/jacuzzi/home entertainment centre"

The mind boggles! Is it legal to advertise such things, especially with the Vice prowling? ;-)

Back on knitwear, why not go instead for "Nancy's simple wimple (part of the 1997 knitlist gift exchange)" - if you mention my name to Nancy she'll give you an extra yard of material, all for free. Mind you, I bet the CDO has given an extra yard in his time!
Facinating link paul, must try Marilyn Buster's mink muff and hat. hmmm!!
Why don't you buy on-line - you seem to spend most of your day there anyway! If not - I've a client in Manchester - mention my name to Phil Delaney at Dale Street Bathrooms and get a huge discount on any/all bathrooms. We've just done a promotion on a steam/shower/bath/jacuzzi/home entertainment centre - all in normal price £7999 - yours for just £3999. They do the full range....the address? (Dale Street you muppet!).
If this isn't a public information service site I don't know what is. Ever wanted to make your own hand-knitted Tom Baker Dr Who scarf? Look no further! Thanks, Craig!
Christ !!!!!!!!!! Whats the next topic for discussion, knitting patterns?
I thought it was both interesting and Informative! But i've been to the one near the Golf shop. The Only one I liked cost about £1500 just a tad expensive!!
Bloody hell, I really am old and sad aren't I?

First one to agree will get a rollicking in my speech on Saturday! hehe

Good places are the Bolton bathroom centre, which is off Chorley Old Road, near Tower FM, and also Boro Style bathrooms in Bury - next to the golf discount store and Lees Hegginbottom opposite Comet in Bury.
Afternoon Gentlemen How is everyone today? Unfortunately I've only managed to sell 4 tickets for saturday. But I'm sure its going to be a good evening anyway!

Does anybody know where I can get a decent bathroom suite from? I've been to B&Q and a place in Heywood but they've all been a bit crap really! Anyway here's a funny joke I was sent the other day

A teacher asks her class to use the word "contagious" in a sentence.

Roland, the class swot, jumps up and says,

"Last year I got the measles and mum said it was very contagious."

Then Katie, a sweet little girl with pigtails, jumps up and says,

"My Grandma says there's a flu going around and its contagious."

Finally, Little Jimmy jumps up and shouts,

"Our next door neighbours painting the outside of his house with a 2 inch brush and my dad says it will take the contagious."

CDO, Neither. Wish I'd had more than 10 minutes cos it could have developed into a monster!!! ;-)

Really looking forward to footy and to end of season bash, and so on. The good times are rolling!
Valid point CDO and a good question, one that even Clive could not just 'sweep' under the carpet and not answer!
Two points:
I will not be at Football on Thursday as its Kayes 30th Birthday (Bugger, no football and I need to spend money)
I will be going to the league Dinner. I have a special Friday night pass out issued by Kaye who declined the offer.
I think that last blog has killed all communication , Paul! - what are you on? - liquid or weed?

Friday, October 10

My insider sources have sent me the following transcript which was recorded in secret at a recent training session of Rammy Juniors run by our very own Cliff ...

[It's 7pm. The juniors are congregated en masse on the outfield, where they're gathering up moss and dry roots, as per Cliff's instructions. None of them have cricket equipment with them. All of a sudden there's a squeal of engines and a big crashing noise]

Little Jimmy: Flaming hell! Look!

[A car is making its way onto the car park, belching smoke from under the bonnet. The car screams to a halt, and Cliff emerges and dives for cover just as a towering inferno engulfs the vehicle]

Cliff: Rats! That's 4 this week ... ok lads, now who's brought the soil bags and the scarifier?

Little Peacock: That's me, sir! And I've brought some bluebells too!

Cliff: That's great. You're fined 20p. Now lads, before we move onto painting and erecting the shed, a quick recap of last week's batting masterclass. I'm going to tell you a few scenarios and you tell me what's the best shot to play. OK, we'll start with Little Mike.

Little Mike: Yes, sir!

Cliff: There's a spinner on, he bowls a flighted delivery that's about 3 feet outside off stump and going wider. What do you play?

Little Mike: The Brooks sweep, sir!

Cliff: Excellent. Okay, we'll try little Kieran. Now then, there's a quick bowler on, you've called for your helmet, and seeing this he bangs it in half way down. What do you do?

Little Kieran: Get down on one knee and sweep it!

Cliff: Fantastic, lads! That's 2 out of 2. OK, we'll try little Russ. There's a dibbly dobbly medium pacer on, he could bowl it anywherer, what do you do?

Little Russ: Sweep it for 6 and run up the wicket grinning and signalling it!

Cliff: You're my favourite student! OK, finally, we'll try little Scunners.

Little Scunners: Yes, mate!

Cliff: OK, it's an inswing bowler, he's clearly of a high standard and he's typing you down round leg stump, what do you do?

Little Scunners: Whip him through square leg, mate! Then give myself a big clap on the back.

Cliff: Er, that's not right.

Little Scunners: You're right, I had no right to play that shot. Come on lads, it's ours this! Touch the sky!
My nose is bloody killing thanks to Young Jedi!!!
Excellent football last night, some of the moves scunners displayed - he really had no right to do them!!!
Noticed Hayden got out playing the Brooks sweep shot, how many times have we seen that shot get people out?
All hail Matthew Hayden. The former Greenmount pro and Aussie opener (and incidentally my favourite batsman!) smashed the world Test batting record today, bludgeoning 380 against Zimbabwe. Not only is this a superb effort in itself, it also knocks that arrogant ponce Lara off top spot ;-)

Well done Matty!

Matt Hayden

A superb game of football last night, if slightly violent. Garvey got a nasty cut under the eye courtesy of an elbow from Flash, Cliff gave me a very sore shoulder, and there were other bangs and knocks - but a great game nonetheless!!

Thursday, October 9


Wednesday, October 8

Hiya Nick,

Get yourself mended up! Footy has been excellent. Look forward to seeing you at the club do!

For everyone, we had a very useful committee meeting last night and touched on issues including vandalism, the league end of season do, sponsorship, club shirts and much more. Maybe someone will post a rundown of the key info for everyone later?

Tuesday, October 7

well hello all.
interesting reading gentlemen. sorry its been along time since last i blogged.
just to say i dont think i will be able to make it to football as i thought, well not for a good few weeks. my knee is bollocked and i've just found out that an op need will be sometime near the start of the season. hopefully it will settle down so i can make an apperance at footy and wow you all with my control and turn of pace!
Don't answer the phone, turn the television off and if anyone gives you a video to watch - RUN! (I told you it had flustered me).
Psaul - I did not choose my un-spellable name - by the time I was aware, it was a fait ac-compli.
The pleasure has been all mine Folks!

It's been a real pleasure to know you, mate. Have a great last few days. Just to set your mind at ease, one way you won't be dying is via Andy putting you through the benches at football - he's off to Cyprus tomorrow!

Kieran - you want to get a name that can't easily be spelt wrong.

Has anyone else noticed Clive's officious tone on the blog? If he's not careful he could be nicknamed 'The School Matron' for further correspondence....

Monday, October 6

Firstly, Cotters, spell my name correctly - Kieran.
Secondly - if you watched The Ring on Saturday - YOU HAVE 5 DAYS LEFT!
Sorry CDO I still have poets block and do not feel inspirational about that effort.
One positive note on the ground front is that the Square is looking fantastic with most the new seed managing to germinate and take hold. Hopefully, with a bit of luck the really hard work put in last month will reap its rewards in the spring.
Keiron you are a big girls blouse. I watched the Ring last night and it was rubbish! Not scary at all!!!

Sunday, October 5

Just a quick reminder of the meeting on Tuesday evening at 8pm in the Dungeon. You should have all received your minutes and list of your actions required prior to the meeting.

Saturday, October 4

Richard - its not like you to be so prosaic - surely you can use your poetic skills to describe your skills better........

Friday, October 3

I thought I was just Crap!
I thought i was like George Best very graceful on the ball!
Matt - nowt wrong wi'it! I want to be Thor-God of Thunder on the football pitch too!

Nothing at all. Just be careful in china shops!
Whats wrong with my footballing style?
dead chuffed me ankles OK - thanks to Andy, Craig, Scott for giving it a thorough work out! I've decided that in light of Cotter's footballing style we are to be Vikings at next years last match of season - raping and pillaging down Bury Road! ODIN!!!!
Tremendous game last night, really enjoyed it. Shame about the unevenness of the sides though, we needed an extra body!

There's a bizarre site I've come across which is apparently covering the movements of a new consortium looking to take over the reins at Bury FC. It's very weird and very funny, featuring characters like Pete Zaparla, Arne Uldiron and Wim Bonus! The Consortium
Good game of footy last night i was knackered! I was surprised this morning that i wasn't stiff (as it were) thats probably going to happen tomorrow!!

Thursday, October 2

Congratulations to Fran Daly - voted 1st Division Player's Player of Season and John (currrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr) Barrow voted Umpire of Year. Also to our own Dr P 5th in 1st Div Batting & 3rd in bowling. Also to Cotters 9th in League bowling & Freddie 17th in Batting. Well Done folks!!!

Anyone wanting tickets for NMCL Presentation on Friday 24th October tickets are £12.50 each includes buffet & disco. Awards being presented by Andy Hayhurst (Lancs Cricket Board). Partners are welcome.
Being held at Bury Town Hall so could make a full night of it and go to Chicago's after !!!

Let me know

Wednesday, October 1

now you know that the only double act is you (hinge) and cotters (bracket).
It's turning into the Cotters-Coe double act, this website! Or should we say the "Belt and Braces" duo ;-)

A quick reminder to anyone out there who has yet to purchase tickets for the club's end of season do. It's an all-in-one smorgasbord of fun encompassing drink, laughs, supper, presentations, Derek "Special" Kay taking the pee out of everyone, race night and speeches. Best of all, like one of Osama's long hops, it's unmissable!

5 quid gets you in, another fiver buys you this horse.
I thought it was one of my best spells for the club!!!
so was he, batting at 10 and watching you at other end! I thought you bowled well too...... (nice catch though!).
I think you'll find he called me a pr**k!!! I was very upset!