Wednesday, June 30

It was Scunners who carted my 'marine roll' delivery - all done for comedy effect - honest!
Yes Matt almost forgot the boots - good match for your belt!!
That was quality! Almost a funny as abbers boxing boots!
Quote from training last night;

Scunners to Jedi - Who have the 2nds got this weekend then

Jedi - Woodbank at Woodbank on Sunday

Scunners - Is that Darcy Lever then.

However highlight had to be CDO tripping up over rope mid delivery stride - hitting the deck with a thud - and in one movement jumping up and continuing the delivery (probably to be slapped for another 4 by whoever was facing!!)
From NMCL meeting last night;

New teams accepted into the league from next year

Blackley - 1st & 2nd teams
Rochdalians - 3rd team
Saddleworth - 3rd team

This is potentially of great significance to our 2nd team, since reading between the lines it was obvious that all the new 2nd and 3rd teams would start off in Division four. Blackley 1sts in division 2. Hence the likelyhood is that at least 2 teams will be promoted from division 4 this year (possibly 3).

All to play for!!

Tuesday, June 29

Team selections for weekend.
Saturday - 1st XI v Ashton Ladyboys (away). Meet Robin Hood 12.30pm. P Meehan (c), C Brooks, R Brooks, N Butterworth, M Chadwick, K Coe, M Cotton, N Hudson, A Parkinson, C Parkinson, P Skundric. 12th man M Deegan.
Sunday - 2nd XI v Woodbank (away). Meet Woodbank 1.30pm. G Fletcher (c), M Ablett, M Ainscoe, M Deegan, N Fletcher, R Holt, S Hunter, M Jones, D Moriarty, A Smith, P Yates. Res: S Horner, S Moriarty
Would any of the teachers or teachers partners on this board care to comment on the following practice? They didn't have teachers like that in my day!

Novel punishment
my balls? They are in a sealed container on our mantleplace - not to be let out until I have grovelled sufficiently! No- I'll be there Saturday night to dispell rumours started by someone with Scunners that I cannot hold my drink - on the contrary it is my women I cannot hold!
Good man Bird! Shame you won't be batting though ... I'm sure everyone would fancy trekking all over Tottington to find their balls - speaking of which, Kieran have you got yours back yet after Sat night!?!?!

I will attend league meeting for you tonight - might also manage to get to nets earlier as well (weather permitting) - strictly bowling only - wouldn't want to bat myself out of form!
hi boys, can not belive you had a good session without me, looks like you boys need me back only lasting 7 hours on the drinking session, me and Stu Atkinson would have at least seen it through till last orders. I'm back in just over a week i'll show you how it's done then.Kick some ass at weekend if i don't get to speak to you guys before then.

Monday, June 28

There is NMCL league meeting tomorrow night at Greenmount CC for about 3/4 hour commencing at 8pm. Both Cyril & i are other wise engaged and if we don't send anyone we will get fined. Maybe someone who's going to training could leave a bit early and attend. Can you let me know.
I involed quite a bit on Saturday also!!!
Serious groveling had to be done from me as well! I'm so weak when beer is involed.
Only one game played in div 1 this weekend - glodwick lost to catholic club (4 points). So we are now 8 points behind leaders, Will have to have a word with glodwick skipper about this !!
Clive, Matt, Nelly, Nick: Just about still married - Denise didn't understand my line of arguement - "But I'm back earlier than normal!" - probably because at 9.05pm I'd been drinking for 7hrs in an area with no mobile signal! Always know there's a bit of trouble ahead when there's a note hanging out of the letterbox instructing me to fcuk myself and not to bother about me kids - they hate me too!
Anyone would think it was her birthday (oops!).
Just like to publicly comment on the fantastic work Mike's doing with the newsletter. The past two issues (new smaller format) have been absolutely blinding! Keep up the good work!

Friday, June 25

got what we deserved.....Beckham played like an OAP.....Ref blew for first challenge by Sol C. not 2nd by Terry....egg chasers tomorrow - good.
Just changed me screen saver to The Saga of Noggin the Nog - getting in the viking mood already!
Newsletters available from tomorrow - front cover is a cracker!

Thursday, June 24

"Rain, rain go away - come again another day. We want Russ to bat again - so bugger off you soggy rain"
Just been past ELPM ground, its covered in several large puddles. Forecast for saturday looks pretty crap as well, so looks like 2 points all round.

Wednesday, June 23

Sorry - Clive - M>Ablett is 12th man - Rob Holt is NA.

Tuesday, June 22

1st XI selection for Saturday - Meet direct at E.L.P.M at 1.15pm. P Meehan (non-batting capt), C Brooks, R Brooks, N Butterworth, M Chadwick, K Coe, M Cotton, M Deegan, N Hudson, C Parkinson & P Skundric. Res: R Holt

I'm trying to recreate match conditions, so I'm sitting here in my pads for the next 6 hours, then taking them off again without batting ;-). Weather looks dodgy for later, let's hope we can get some practice in before the heavens cave in on us!
net tonight boys - need to keep form for Saturday - can everyone try and get? No game at home this weekend so fielding practice OK and proper wicket? I've latest newsletter so will try to circulate at weekend.

Monday, June 21

Well done at the weekend boys, Big Birds on fire which is good to see. I think I'll stay in America you seem to be winning more without me, and that 3rd XI is looking good for me ( don't listern to my moaning I'm just missing playing the best game on the planet) make sure you guys keep this winning streak going speak to you soon

P.S. well done again to birdy
29, 30 who cares - she'd AVE IT!!!

Fantastic results boyz well done. Lets hope England share a similar level of success - COME ON!!!!!!
CDO - exactly, by your own standards you batted like a whirling dervish!!

Anyway onto matters of more import. There was some talk yesterday of a bet concerning the age of American diva Anastacia. She is 30, born September 1973 ... so whoever said she's over 35 is wrong!

And finally ... do you think she'll get any offers? ;-)
Just to clear up the bet between N Hudson & Scunners. Anatasia is only 29 years old, so scunners you owe Nick £10. What a fantastic weekend of cricket lets hope it continues! 19 overs bowled by myself this weekend and only 1 wicket to show for it gutted!

Theres also a small matter of a football game tonight as well COME ON ENGLAND!!!!!!!!!
It says a lot for how RB batted on Saturday when my 'supporting role' included 8 fours and 2 sixes - he made me look like I was batting for a point!
Well, what a pleasure it was to be out for a duck so Russ could have a bat!!
What I'd like to know is: Russ, did you beat your 'special mix' sandwich record too??
Newsletter 'at the printers' 2day folks.
Well well well! In 18 years of playing at TSJ I have to say that must be the single most impressive set of results I can recall over 1 weekend!


1sts v Failsworth
Failsworth 150 a/o, TSJ 154-2
Scunners 5-61, Kieran 62 not out, Big Bird 65

Probably won by the bowling and fielding, the best batting wicket of the season to date, and all the bowlers performed superbly. Then Bird went mad and CDO played a top supporting role. We could have chased 250+ on that pitch!

2nds v Ashton
Ashton 32 a/o TSJ 34-0

Doesn't get any better than that! Well done to the trio of Mozzer, Rob and Smithy


1sts v Elton Vale
EV 144-9 (35 overs) TSJ 148-1 (21 overs)
Bird 5-40 and 94 not out!

What a weekend for Big Bird, and yesterday's bare stats don't tell the story. After 15 overs EV were 96-0 and we were looking at 250+. A fabulous effort to turn it round. Then Bird went ballistic with the bat, there's probably no-one in this *league* better than that when on song.

Let's hope we can do the same with East Lancs next week, revenge for the cup! Only 6 points off top boys!
well done yesterday boys - esp RB. Momentum & confidence are growing - fantastic!

Sunday, June 20

Rochdalians v Roch Cath Club - 2 pts each. Come on !!!

Friday, June 18

happy birthday to me!! 22 i'm catching up to the rest of you old farts, kick some ass at the weekend boys just off out on the beer, going to the Grand Prix on Sunday should be fun, speak to u all soon. I'll be back in a few weeks any chance of starting a 3rd XI so OI could get a game. (keep on winning boys)
OK OK - as well. What it must be like to have achieved literary perfection!
Paul, think the swell's a reference to his glan(d)s!!
I dunno about a swell - seems more like a bout of low pressure to me!
brought the weather with you aswell.
Touched down this morning at 4am.
Sometime this morning!
when are the Brooks Bros back?

Thursday, June 17

A fantastic innings by Vaughan that I cheered all the way - some of his shotmaking was sublime. Having said that, it was worrying that Mahmood and Anderson took such a pummelling with the one dayers starting next week!
Here Here CDO. We're Yorkshires republican army we're barmy we're YRA.
You have to say though it would have been a good day out.
You red rose boys took one hell of a stuffing! A strong Yorkshire means a strong England! (All together now!).

Wednesday, June 16

Frankie B is Back, that will be good to see, the question is though,will clive get the gloves back off chadders ?
Good to be back after a few days away celebrating our anniversary. Teams for weekend looking decent aren't they? Let's hope this weather holds and we can bring home (all) the points. Come ON!
Teams for weekend:
1sts SAT:

P.Meehan, K.Coe, R.Brooks, C.Brooks, M.Cotton, M.Chadwick, P.Skundric, R.Peacock, M.Deegan, N.Hudson, N.Butterworth

1sts SUN:

P.Meehan, R.Brooks, C.Brooks, M.Cotton, P.Skundric, M.Deegan, N.Hudson, C.Parkinson, A.Parkinson, M.Ainscoe, F.Brockway

2nds SAT

S.Moriarty, M.Jones, N.Fletcher, G.Fletcher, S.Horner, S.Hunter, D.Moriarty, R.Holt, M.Ablett, Rowdy Yates, A. Smith
12th Aaron.

Monday, June 14

Another excellent weekend for the club! Gutted about England I still can't believe it. We should qualify though the other teams looked terrible.
Good Work yesterday folks. Glad to see you made sure you got back for the football. Could have done with CDO (John Wayne) working for those ITV t***ers, he would of at least made the point:- "its a good start, but that's all it is".
Fortunatly I had £2 on England to be winning at HT and France to win at FT at 25/1.
Good to see Digger join us on Sat night, who was swiftly sold an 'official' Euro 2004 programe by the pub Landlord (Cannot get them in England he said) only to find the first page in Portuguese.
Springhead beating RCC - I feel better already!
160-odd miles done - v. sore - never doing it again. "Isn't Cheshire lovely?" - NO ITS 'KIN BORING AND PAINFULL.
Cycling is not natural - it is like swimming - WE DON'T HAVE TO DO IT ANYMORE BECAUSE WE HAVE INVENTED BOATS AND CARS!!! All I can say to all those nutri-bar chomping, water bottle sucking, dead fly-face, sweaty bum, skinny-tight shorts, oily chain fingers, non-stopping at country pubs, sponsored pillocks is - "Play ball sports! You are only one step from canal barges or orienteering - stop this madness now!".

Sunday, June 13

Yes indeed a top result all round - 5 excellent bowling performances, Scunners 8 overs 1-14, Nelly 2-6 off 6, Matt bowled much better than 1-22 off 8, Flash 8 overs 1-21 and Paul 14 overs 5-8!

The two Nicks batted really well to put on 40 for opening wicket, characterised by some suicidal running and one massive blow for 6 over long on from the boy Fletcher! Nelly Butt creamed the winning runs and it was another welcome 5 points in the bag.

Competition for places hotting up - and Chadders kept REALLY well too!
Clive calling from Canada. Great result on Saturday boys, keep up the good work for today. Good bowling effort I believe and Well done to Garvey - excellent knock. Having a brilliant time here, last night played to a 3000 crowd. This afternoon there will be 4 or 5K there. Beats one man and his dog at Crompton Meadows. See you all next weekend. Clive

Friday, June 11

my glans are fine - however, they are oversize due to authentic 'made in Yorkshire' produce.
CDO, think he was alluding to glans ... ;-)

Anyway, Dasher cried off late last night, so Young Jedi is now in the 1sts for tomorrow's game!
Craig - don't know much about cycling, but I know you sit on your arse not your neck!

Thursday, June 10

CDO, Won't your infected glands make sitting on the bike seat a little uncomfortable !!
Showing pain 20p please!
Good luck on Saturday boys - missing me first game and I'm as miserable as hell! (not only because of the 170 miles I'm cycling but also because of my infected glands and sickness inducing anti-biotics).
Don't just beat 'em - get some practice for end of season do and rape 'em!
Messages from Cliff!

Chadders - Clive's keeping gear is in the pavilion ready for you! This includes pads, gloves and inners; we'll try and scrape the teflon off for you before Saturday 2pm

Dickie P - Kath and Nev won't be in on Sat morning so they are going to drop the keys off at your house on Friday night!!
Crippled in my rather dubious prime!! I'm a victim of line & length.. Or the lack of..

Wednesday, June 9

Surf Boy Chadders, Does this mean that your bowling career has been postponed, After saturday Ash was rather looking forward to seeing your efforts!
2nd XI game V Fothergills on Sun could be starting at 1pm at our visitors request due to the England game kicking off at 7.45pm.
Watch this space for further updates.
Selection : S Moriarty (c), M Jones, A Smith, R Holt, S Hunter, D Moriarty, N Hudson, S Horner, G Fletcher, M Ainscoe & P Yates. Res : A Hall
Due to management requests i have postponed Friday evening's trip to New Zealand for the rugby. I shall be 'training' in the garden with the oven gloves whilst my coach hurtles missiles at an Ash/Paul/Matty average speed of Mach 3. Just as preparation you know!!
Does anyone know what part of the UK the beach bum is returning from this week, bristol last week, edinburgh the week before.
Good man! Buckets will do a grand job!
Chadders ... and he's very excited about it:

"with careful advice from the Senior players I shall be more than happy to dive about in a Clive-esque fashion. To confirm; My main duties are to retrieve the ball and throw it nonchalantly to the slip fielder whilst looking the other way?"

He is THE MAN!
Who's keeping?
1st XI for Saturday v Fothergills (H) - meet ground 1pm

Paul (c), Craig, Ashley, Nelly Butt, Scunners, Dickie P, Matt Cotton, Chadders, Dasher, Nick Hudson and Nick Fletcher

Res: M. Ablett

Tuesday, June 8

COME ON! 242-1 and into 65th on the leaderboard!
Matt's new batting coach - "the bug guy" - seems to bear a striking resemblance to Saturday's half-centurion ... ;-)

Well you know when things aren't going right you can always turn to the bug guy! You never know if things carry on I might even break 100 runs for the season! Its all about application and focus you know!

Watch this I'll get a golden if I bat on Saturday now!!(obviously if selected)
Aha! The mystery of Osama's upturn in batting fortunes can thus be explained - he is in direct contact with higher powers!
Not too sure if I can make nets tonight, i've got a meeting with the vicar tonight at 6pm. If its a short one i'll come down later.

Monday, June 7

240 for 0!!! Vaughan 162 and Trescothic 78
199-2, Vaughan 98 not out ... and no, I haven't been playing for 2 hours! Well done the real England too, an emphatic 9 wicket win!
Just pipped Ducky - 176 for 4!
Good to hear a positive result yesterday in what looked a well balanced game from the few minutes I saw.
CDO: Did you remember to drop off the Keys?
Still in shock after you left Stella on sat night!
Chaps, HUGE weekend coming up ...

Pos Teams P W5 W4 T3 AB2 D1 L Pts

1 ROCH CATH CLUB 7 7 0 0 0 0 0 35
2 ROCHDALIANS 7 5 1 0 0 0 1 29
3 ROBINSONS 7 4 0 0 1 0 2 22
4 TOTT ST JOHNS 7 4 0 0 1 0 2 22
5 GLODWICK 7 3 0 0 0 1 3 16

We've opened up a gap and next week it's Robbies v Dalians!! So if we win against Fothergills, we should be in a v good position, whatever the result there!

For those who weren't there to witness it, the events of Mark Chadwick's first over of the season must be set in stone (or blog anyway).

Ball 1 - neck high full toss - no ball and single
Ball 2 - head high beamer - no ball and single
Ball 3 - waist high full toss - smashed for 4 (was this also a no ball, can't recall??)

so at this point, we have 1 "ball", 8 runs. Panic stations for me at 1st slip!

Ball 4 - low full toss, batsman smashes it straight to a diving Matt Ablett at cover. OUT!
Ball 5 - beautiful seamer, Clive pulls off amazing stumping. OUT!
Ball 6 (hat trick ball) - field in, batter just manages to keep out decent ball.
Ball 7 - batter hits it straight up in the air to Richard. OUT!

At this point we're all falling about in hysterics. Goodness only knows what Glodwick were making of it ...

Ball 8 - almost another wicket.

Absolutely magnificent!!!

After ball 4 Craig says to me "dunno if this was a good bowling change, Skip".

After ball 5 I reply - "it is now!"

KC urged me to take him off after that over for sheer comedy value (as if there wasn't already enough!); I just about managed to restrain myself!

Wonderful effort from the Beach Bum surfer dude! Our spectator in the end house was LOVING it!

BTW, Chadders, if you're out there and want a password to post on the site, drop me an email!

Other highlights

  • The catching - about 6 belters!

  • Matt's opening spell - very unlucky

  • Clive's knock (obviously) - a top effort in the face of big pressure

  • Chadders, Cotters and Young Jedi lending able support

  • Chadders generally!

  • Great performance for both teams over the weekend.

    Good to see the 3 Lions following the TSJ lead - managing to drag a likely victory from the jaws of defeat.

    Suprised my younger broth ain't bin on here yet!

    Before anyone else says it - God only knows how I managed to catch this cold.
    Good to hear from you pete hows it going over there? Both teams won over the weekend come on!! 1st 182 for 9 cliff 63no and 2nds 202 for 7 M ainscoe 70 odd no. Overall a very good weekend!
    good game craig just got 174 - 6 Strauss 104*, hope you boys won on sat and sunday let us know as soon as poss will somebody!!

    Friday, June 4

    156 - 5 , has anyone been hit on the head yet? done it twice and both times fell on my wickets!!
    165 for 0 Vaughan 91 No & Trescothic 74 No
    127-6, Collingwood 58 not out (22 balls!). I did get Tresco to 50 off 15 balls in an earlier game and then lost it completely!
    Love it! 116-6 Strauss top scored with 51!
    Definitely some added responsibility on tbe batting tomorrow, it's looking a little thin ...

    Anyway Craig's found an excellent cricket gme that you can play to while away the minutes/hours/weeks ... have fun and let us know how you get on.

    Stick cricket
    I disagree - they need to be hung for 4 weeks at least - the maggots can be cut off before cooking. 'Let flavour flood'.
    Come On! Lets put Glodwick to the Sword.
    By the way pheasants taste best if they are plucked a week after they have been hung.
    That's clever - have you been blog-editing Clive?

    Thursday, June 3

    Selections for weekend
    SAT - 1st XI v Glodwick at Home. Meet Ground 1pm. P Meehan (c), C Brooks, R Brooks, M Chadwick, K Coe, M Cotton, M Deegan, N Fletcher, S Horner, C Parkinson & R Peacock.
    SUN - 2nd XI v Darcy Lever (Cup) at Home. Meet Ground 1pm. S Moriarty (c), M Ablett, M Ainscoe, G Fletcher, R Holt, N Hudson, S Hunter, M Jones, P Skundric, A Smith, P Yates. Res & Scorer: D Moriarty

    Good Luck to the 2nds for the Cup!!

    Wednesday, June 2

    You'd definitely fit the bill of a "pheasant plucker" CDO!
    My pheasant joke gets better by the minute....
    Amen to that - should be a brilliant day!

    Anyway, here's a particularly amusing story from ananova:

    Police seek owner of severed human hand

    New York police are searching for the owner of a severed human hand that dropped from the sky on to the deck of a boat.

    The incident happened near the Lawrence Village Marina, on Long Island, where parties were taking place on a number of craft.

    Police said the human hand mysteriously dropped out of the sky and hit the deck of one of the boats, says the New York Post.

    Nassau Detective Sgt. John Azzata, said: "One owner was in the cabin when he heard a noise, goes out to check and finds the hand on the rear deck of the boat.

    "At this point, we don't have a clue where it came from. It's a mystery."

    Personally, I don't think the poor bloke would want it back. If he wants a replacement, he can always go to the second hand shop!!!
    Jedi Matt - are you getting together info for single wicket - I think there will be a good turn out if you blog soon.... August 8th - BBQ - Single Wkt - beers - families - etc.

    Tuesday, June 1

    Nice one rich! Will there be a net tonight?
    No CDO...As I turned to have a look at the infamous hill Kaye quietly explained how you should watch the f***ing road while driving!
    Nick Hud and Nelly not available. Scunners ok to play for 2s on Sunday if selected! Steve S not available at all.
    According to the availability sheets everyone is available apart from Scunners, Mark Chadwick and S Smith is TBC. Did anyone watch that Derren Brown scene last night on channel 4? Very Freaky indeed!
    That was a class moment ... a distant figure waving from atop the hill and a faint but clearly recognisable shout:

    Richard - did you see Smithy on top of Rowdy Hill when you passed? He was half baked and fell part way down!
    Is someone extracting the urine?
    Big game coming up at the weekend - Glodwick are having a decent start to the season and are just a point behind us (we're joint 3rd with Robbies!). If we hadn't had such an opening day mare, we might well be pushing for 2nd right now! The return of Mark Parky is always interesting! Let's hope we're up for it.

    CDO, that was an awful joke. Have to give you the bird for that.
    Good Work Saturday Folks. The 2 seconds I saw of the match from Lane 1 of the M62 looked very tense indeed, clearly a wicket had just been taken. Glad I went over to Yorks but hugely missed playing on such a barmy day.
    I will not be at Nets tonight...going to see England V Japan. Available for selection 1 day from 2.
    no, not pheasant at all!