Wednesday, April 30

Morning all
As a trainee of the master (don't bait him about it) and fence painter extraorinaire, perhaps 'the fencemeister' might be more appropriate.
Must be off to mark some books/get some catching practice.
Morning all. Would just like to ask the CDO what on earth "side screens" are? Is it like side air bags? Would also like to welcome another new editorial member on board the website, a certain Mr Ainscoe. Just thinking about young (at heart) Mike, he's trained under a wise master (CDO) and also painted a fence, so does that mean he's qualified to be the karate kid?

I have decided on a new approach which is going to guarantee our future success ... a new pre-match meal. All say "yum" now!

Tuesday, April 29

No game Saturday. So as CDO I would really appreciate bodies down at ground. We have one or two things to finish off in and around pavillion but the real reason (he says, excitedly) is the construction of the side-screens!!!. Clive informs me that all the bits will be available (the frame is already there) to paint, construct and chain to the metal shed. Please can bodies be available between 12.30 and 3pm - we can even support the winning 2nd team at home versus Greenfield. This is a cricketing Saturday so no-one should have any excuses/reasons for non-attendance - if you were available for cricket, you are available for this.
Can't make it to the nets tonight. When are starting practice at the ground?
Morning all, looking forward to nets tonight. I note the results at the weekend weren't too bad. Rochdalians beat Westleigh 4-1, Catholics won 5-0, the rest abandoned. Good.

Right, slight diversion. Sunday May 18th - day out at Alton Towers in celebration of my upcoming nuptials. All welcome - partners, kids etc more than welcome as well as the lads. Please let me know if you can make it, should be a cracking day out! Alton Towers - lots of fun for all

Monday, April 28

i've been to see phill yates today at hope and he says he's feel tons better. he's going to be in for another few days at least, but things look a lot better for him. he hopes to be playing in three or four weeks after he is released so watch out lads your place may be under threat from the little ginger dynamo.....?? anyway filled him in on the latest news down at crompton meadows, looking forward to seeing him back in action and listening to his words of wisdom! i've got a feeling he may aquire the odd fine for out rageous comments amongst other things.
all the best fellow, see you soon
Chief sneak - I have taken on board your fines list - however I have produced one myself that I will circulate at the nets. Needless to say it is on the higher side.
I agree i think there are good signs for the season ahead! Must apologise for some really dodgy bowling but its early on!! Saturday night was a goodun!! Some classy ladys in Chicago's and a girl fight! Doesn't get much better than that. I think we had a few too many shandys on saturday especially richard and clive!!! Nice dancing rich!
It's cliche time! Okay we lost, and at the end of the day we're sick as parrots, but take heart boys, there were a lot of positives from that performance. The partnerships were built well, the batting generally excellent, with everyone chipping in. The look on Clive's face after those sixes was priceless and just screamed out "fine me big time". As Kieran said, we thought we had it won at the break, and despite some decent enough bowling (and some inspirational changes I might add ;-)), there was enough good clean striking from the Elton Vale boys to secure them a win. Fielding was generally good, though there were disappointing drops. Not to worry though, a point gained and excellent news of the seconds. Well done lads!

A week off now to rebuild. Nets tomorrow should be hard and keenly contested. Let's work on that fielding too. 6/10 overall, good encouraging signs - great knocks from Birdy, the CDO and Flash, and useful contributions from the rest. Thought Mark looked very useful with the ball, will be a good addition. I would like to suggest another fine for Dickie, that of calling our new played "Mike" most of the game!

Sunday, April 27

fines for the second team have not been implemented this week due to the fact that no one knew who was responsible, but warnings for next time were given and people were generaly made aware.
sorry about this Mr club dev. off. it will be sorted next time.
TSJ V Elton Vale - Fines
Well we lost and I hope we have all finished Sulking and get down to nets on Tuesday. Super effort though by the clubs other team - Well Done.
Unfortunatley there was no fines committe at the post match conference and as this week's Chairman I Order that the following fines are paid at Tuesdays nets

Paul (Capt)
Abysmal calling between the wickets with Kieran. Yes! No! well Maybe not!
Not Coming out after the match
Total 40p
Standing Like a Teapot
Dropped Catch (Not making the Ground)
1 PPE (Piss Poor Effort) on the boundary in the field
Total 60p
Leaving the Field of play
Asking for the first time in his life to be taken off
Total 40p
Two Dropped Catches
Total 40p
No fines
Throwing as always like a girl.
Total 20p
Two dropped catches
Maintaining a cheesey grin for ages after hitting a couple of sixes
Using a ridiculous amount of Cliches
Total 80p
No fines
1 dropped catch (Sorry)
First ball Duck
Total 40p
Being Run out off a wide ball and giving the oposition the chance to get the last two wickets with the final ball of the match (40p)
Over the top celebrations at getting a wicket after being hit for three straight 6s
Total 60p
Late and getting lost to a home game!
Total 20p

We have all got off Very lightly here because the tea is burning and my hanging baskets have not been watered.

good start to the season for the 2s with a good team performance at elton vale. 5pts in the bag and superb display by moriarty snr with both ball and bat. baza may well have established himself as an opener for this season with a knock of 20, setting up a platform for dasher deegan, mozza and skipper jonesy to build on. a fine total of 149 posted , dispite jonesy short runs.

mozza's tight bowling reaped early break though. smithy, sporting a very fetching black head band giving him a look of bojrn borg, bowled well taking three quick wickets before needing a rest. then came the young jedi himself, matt ablett strolled up and 2nd or so ball claimed eltons dangerman. he then went on to claim 3 more victims, one a stumping which was a surprise as i didnt know jonesy could move so fast (well done old boy). mozza was replaced after an exellent bowling display that deserved more, with fletcher snr who claimed the final wicket with his third or so ball. good fielding display despite the average age of the team being approx 40ish.
myself was disappointig with ball getting 'tated around the ground, and scored a defensive 8 no.
more of the same boys

Saturday, April 26

the sun is shining, but will it last or is it just there to give us more false hope of a season without the sponge and 4pm starts. enjoy the day boys, once more into the breach, seize the moment and cry "God for Meehan (Jonesy), Totty and Saint Johns"

Friday, April 25

Its not doing wonders for my guttering I can tell you!
It might be doing wonders for my garden but what a complete and utter bunch of arse! Still, at least we can mill around in our galoshes and admire Mike's wonderful new white fence. We'll be able to make it out very clearly through the mist and - probably - snow.
Are we going to need waterproofs tomorrow then? Would you believe it !!
please, please stop raining.

Wednesday, April 23

HAPPY BIRTHDAY RICHARD from all your friends at TSJ. And from us lot as well. Big night on Saturday, as Osama alluded. It's a night out for everyone, Sheik. Or should I say, former Sheik. After last night's appearance I think we can safely rename you George Dawes. With attitude. Hopefully you won't have the Elton Vale lot calling you a baby at the weekend!

Another top net sesh last night, folks, and particularly pleasing to see Captain Flash back. Things are indeed looking up. If only we could find a permanent fix for Mozzer's back, Mitchy's misery and Scoffer's, erm, asthma, we'd be completely sorted!

I just found the following particularly amusing story on
A French footballer has caused outrage in Turkey by putting his hand down his shorts to celebrate a goal.

Besiktas striker Pascal Nouma also took off his shirt when he scored against rivals Fenerbahce. Angry fans accused him of violating conservative values in the predominantly Muslim country.

Senol Guler, a 40-year-old Besiktas fan, said: "I am ashamed of such action by someone from my team. Women and children were watching it too."

Nouma has apologised, saying he celebrated because he was overjoyed his four-week scoreless streak was finally over. He said: "It was not against anyone. It was just a private sign of joy. I shouldn't have done it. If it hurt Turkey, then I am sorry."

In my captain's responsibility role, can I just comment on two things. One, displays of such gratuitousness will be tolerated by TSJ, and secondly, what was a turkey doing down his pants?!

Tuesday, April 22

I've had a look at the fines very good indeed! I might as well pay £200.00 now !! Saturdays a good idea is it a lads night or partners aswell you remember what happened last time i went out without Saz!!

Monday, April 21

Happy Easter indeed, and hello to the rain. Bloody typical isn't it. Let's hope it does just enough to water the wicket and then sods off! Right then, as per requests elsewhere, there are 3 new links on the left - you can now look at our fixtures for the upcoming season, check out the kind people who have sponsored us, and also look at Kieran's suggested fines structure - to be discussed at the nets tomorrow!

Saturday night here we come! Totally agree with Scoop Doggy's suggestion of a big night out for Dickie P. 30? He only looks 21! It must be all that vaseline.

Saturday, April 19

Happy Easter all. Well done Bury!! (no really - I'm not bitter) - come on Bolton!! Are we all aware that Captain Peacock is 30 (yes thirty) on Wednesday 23rd April - yes, this Wednesday. I suggest a nite out next Saturday to celebrate this achievement and also to kick start the social scene for the season. In keeping with mine, Clive and Paul's celebrations last year, perhaps a trip to Bury. Suggestions welcome. Be there.

Thursday, April 17

ill be there monday prob, as long as captain peacock can control his arse..........
who the hell let cotton have a pass word to write on this site? god knows what scandalus drible he'll be producing.
see yous mon.
beer up...... matt dont forget your fags...... you know it makes sence.
I think an all dayer at the hare & hounds is on the cards!!!!
Message from Kieran - your Club Development Whatever:
As Clive has said:
I am needing handy bodies for x2 dates: Monday 21st April - I will be going down late afternoon/early evening and Thusday 24th April - Evening. We create our own momentum and sustain this through hard work and practice - talking bollocks aside though - I really do think that inclusion in these acivities (groundwork/net practice) makes for a tighter knit to the club and team spirit - ownership/pride in membership can only come through involvment and inclusion. It cannot be forced upon the individual, however the individual will remain thus (excluded) until he participates in the mundane.
Come on...lets have a good turn out....My best season with the bat at Skipton (700 runs @ av. 48) was when I put most back into the club - I was on the ground rota for cutting grass, I arranged several money raising events, I was captain, I prepared wickets 1 week in 5, etc, etc and I really do believe my cricket and my enjoyment of cricket was increased accordingly.
See you there.
Well it's Good Friday tomorrow. How are you lot spending it? I'm off to Rochdale. Here's why.
Cliff and Kieran - top idea indeed. I'll definitely be there next Thurs, will try and make Monday too. Thought nets on Tuesday were superb, enjoyed the fielding and running stuff a great deal, perhaps we can focus more on that next week to sharpen us up a little? As we saw on the night, the batting came on a treat this week, so we've now seen good progress with bat and ball. With Flash probably back for home games we're looking much healthier than last year already. Have been very impressed with Al Cottoni, he even managed to get 2 balls outside my off stump on Tuesday!

Can someone email me the fines list so I can add it to the website, and I'll also put up sponsor and fixture info at the same time ...

Wednesday, April 16

Our new CDO (Kieran) has spoken. He is arranging 2 pre season working parties at the Club to work on the pavilion. These will be on Bank Holiday Monday and Thursday 24th April from 7.30pm til 10pm. Please bring with you an active mind, paint brush and any other decorators tools you may have. Before we can begin the season the pavilion needs a good clean up (inside and out). Paint and beer will be provided. Please e-mail the webmaster ( to confirm your attendance for either night. Also some ground work will be being undertaken during the Easter break, if available at any time. Again e-mail the webmaster to confirm your availability. LETS PULL TOGETHER AS A TEAM OFF THE FIELD AS WELL AS ON IT !!

Monday, April 14

Fantastic! See you tomorrow when we can ask young Tablet to seriously destroy some wickets. Preferably those of Yorkshiremen.
Good work so far young Ablett, but you are not a jedi yet.
At least he's still keen. Sorry Doc for doubting your insight to things pertaining to the world of the internet.
What a great idea this guest book thing is..... it could be a great source of amusement.
Aha! Spoke too soon, Bubble! Young Matty Ablett has now signed in, good to see him there. I am intrigued by his views about "destroying more wickets". Has he been following through too far during his bowling spells? ;-). Yes the smoking incident was outrageous, almost as outrageous as Birdy's ability to turn the ball square in that hall. He really must be the most lethal bowler in the world indoors, but outdoors ... he's only lethal if you're stood within 50 yards of the bat! I await his response!

Sunday, April 13

I see the guest book thing is a big draw, only the bearded blunderer has bothed. still early days.
Gotta aplogise for the old man smoking incident in the sports hall, he claimed he didnt know he couldnt smoke in there. i'm sure he's losing it.
anyway see you next tuesday.

Friday, April 11

Well how about this? We've got a mention on another website, in this instance it's the hugely entertaining Yorkshire Soul; for those who know "Big" Andy, Mike's his mate! Top, top stuff.

Thursday, April 10

Got to agree with the sentiment of the Dr, it went alright. still whats a little pain every time you coff? What i want to know is where was ducky he normally love trying to smash the ball around in the nets? never understood why he doesnt in a match ?
Anyway see you all next week, you to club dev. off.

Wednesday, April 9

An excellent first net session of the year I thought last night - and no stiffness at all! Smithy did say he was stiffening up while Clifford was bowling, but we'll leave that there. Some very positive signs for the year ahead, with Russ, "Bubble" and Sheik Cottoni in super bowling form, and the club development officer striking a few hefty blows. Good to have a bit of fielding practice in there too. Have managed to acquire my first bruise of the year courtesy of the Sheik as well, cheers Lardy!

Would also like to thank Clifford for the top directions, which saw myself and the Captain of Vice driving round Hollins estate for 10 minutes like headless chickens. marvellous effort, that. And as for those bloody pigeons of Bill's ...

Tuesday, April 8

Nets tonight. You know what I'm really looking forward to? No, it's not that dreaded first ball which pitches 8 yards down the track before hurtling into the side netting, nor even the inevitable stream of full bungers, bouncers and beamers from the Sheik, no it's that delightful feeling we'll get tomorrow morning, when for some inexplicable reason our backs, legs and sides have seized up and we can't walk straight. A bit like a night out with Scoop, Ricardo and the vodka red bull in fact ...

Monday, April 7

Hilarious to see Matt (sorry, Sheik Adnan Al-Cottoni) in the guestbook, well done! Nets tomorrow, chaps, can't wait, should be a blast in a "we haven't played for 6 months and we're still bloody awful" type manner. Let's hope Clifford's directions are accurate and there aren't too many breakages suffered - anyone know if Rowdy's coming? I suppose we'll have to put up with that Yorkshire rugby player tomorrow. Let's hope he doesn't get involved in any typical rugby player antics. The shame of it!

Sunday, April 6

Drainage Update
Funniest sight of the season so far - Dicky Peacock walking across the outfield with 'water devining rods.' The strangest thing is - it worked. You needed to see to believe !!
Up shot of it is, we now have two holes on our outfield.

Friday, April 4

On the evidence of the past 3 seasons, we not only need catching practice but also some batting and bowling practice! Fortunately our wicketkeeping is in very very very safe hands with Clifford isn't it? I'd also like to say that our teas are in very safe hands. Speaking of hands, I wonder why Captain Peacock hasn't posted yet, perhaps he's immensely scared of the new technology, or maybe he's whiling away his time with his hand lotion. Just for Dickie, here is a picture of some wonderful bluebells - not as nice as those at Fothergills but good nonetheless ;-)

If anyone new is reading the site, please sign our guestbook!!

Thursday, April 3

well here it is my first attempt, hope i dont bugger it up!!! the old man has mentioned the need for a spot of catching practise..... any chance we could sneek a bit in at the net practise or is it to small in the hall.
Had a look down at the ground today mysef, very picturesque. does anyone know what and when work needs doing or is that Mr Coe's department?

next time i'll read whats been said before i start.
Ah you see, THIS is what this website was created for, intelligent and stimulating conversation. And also the sharing of quality resources like the Traffic Cone Preservation Society page. It's compulsive reading. On the subject of fun, I'm thinking of organising a trip to Alton Towers one Sunday in May as a pre-wedding blast - anyone up for it - if so, what weekends are good for people? Need to get a date firmed up.
Clive - it's next to the precinct on which Healds of Unsworth is located - does this help? Give me a ring for further directions.

Wednesday, April 2

You can always rely on Scoop to lower the tone of the conversation. Anyway I think your cousin was one of them. Changing the subject, does anyone know exactly where this school is for next Tuesday. Don't get smart, I know it's in Unsworth. I need to go back to Matt with some proper directions. HELP !

Tuesday, April 1

Can't believe it's 1st April, football has finished and nets start next week!!! Any predictions for success at TSJ this summer?